P.S. Don’t try this at home!!!

P.P.S.  DO try something YOU want to try.

Now, what was it, you say,
that gets in your way?

Find out what your real, actual constraints are and develop a new plan to address those constraints.  Get help. Learn new strategies from successful people.

Generosity — Training in Big Success

Listen to the League of Extraordinary Minds

Attitude, Gratitude, Resilience and Joy

Nothing but illusions,
well, change those delusions!

Good luck re-thinking your obstacles — now — On To Your 2010 Successes.

There are many voices of resilience which last well beyond an individual lifespan.

Mary Travers has one of those voices.

From Kentucky, to New York, to places all over the world, Mary sang from her heart and listeners’ hearts were captured.

Authenticity was a major facet of Mary’s long and resilient career.  She and her pals Peter Yarrow and Paul Stookey turned authenticity into a calling card.  A tough fight at times, with the new trends of popularization and commercialization of folk music ‘Moving’ on the scene.

Peter Paul and Mary were able to become wildly popular while retaining their commitment to a focused calling — articulating the dignity and value of all persons and all peoples.  And suggesting, of all things, that we treat each other as brothers and sisters.

Their close harmonies have always had more than musical significance.  They are symbols of how working together can bring new beauty into being.

Take heart and find a way to voice your authentic self, in the context of something larger than you.  It will give your Resilience Rating a boost!  (See our post on Making Connections and Resilience for more about context support).

There is so much listening to do.  Some of it involves Mary Travers, both wearing her ‘Peter Paul & Mary’ hat, and in her solo work.  Some of the listening has to do with finding our OWN voice.

Listen to the signals that hint at your own authenticity and resilience.  Then find the courage to voice them.  Perhaps revisiting Mary’s voice will encourage you.

Enjoy a sample of Mary’s voice, from 1966:

(and from our almost-shameless commerce division) If you’re interested, you can
Click here to Browse the Peter Paul & Mary Store at Amazon.

Share your Favorites, or anything about finding your voice, in the Comments below.

If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else,
you will have succeeded.
— Maya Angelou

Of all the things to try, this is perhaps the most interesting.  And in the long run, maybe the most powerful.  Making connections is so basic, yet for all its common sense, we let it fly right out the window and are left feeling alone, trapped, and isolated.  What a curious trick we play on ourselves.  And the smarter we are, the harder we fall for this one.  After all, we should be able to pull our own selves out of the pit, right?  Partial baloney.

Connections support us in shoring up resilience.

They can actually make our rugged individualism work better.  Seems counter-intuitive.  But our ability to help ourselves is strangely related to our willingness to accept help from others.  The best results come from figuring out  the when, who, and how of good connections, and in finding a good balance of power.

There are offers for ‘relationship’ all over the place.

So many, in fact, that even billboards ‘talk’ to us.  We cannot escape the calls for involvement in someone else’s agenda.  Give to my worthy cause, help me make my quota, win the contest, fight the bad guys, cure warts, save the wild things.  Just when the year-end bills roll in, the mailbox is full of notes from people begging to have a relationship with us.

Those are not the types of connections we’re talking about!

There is a difference between impersonal communication and the relationships which include real dialog and offer personal support.  A billboard will never listen to you.  Neither will a solicitation, not even one for a good cause.  Not even one from your very favorite cause.

However, helping others is known to be a part of happiness.  So how do we decide which connections can help us be strong-hearted?  One of the best resilience builders comes from the go-power of personal connections and mutual support.

It’s the support from people who care about us,
and are willing to listen to us,

that strengthens our resilience and chases away the blues.  And offering that to others is the second half.

Giving and helping are great ways to experience the benefits of supportive connection.  Being a gracious receiver is equally powerful.  Both are halves of the same whole.  It’s having good relationships with close friends, family members, acquaintances, peers, teachers, and others, that is important.  If one of your sources is unavailable or unwilling, there must be others in your system to whom you can turn.

When we lose someone in our supportive connections loop,
we have to find a way to connect again — with a new link.

Think of at least three persons you can count on, and if you need to build up your social support system, begin right now.  Build a second tier, and envision a third.  Not to worry, just start adding one connection at a time.

Some people develop those connections by being active in social or civic groups, faith-based organizations, shared-interest groups, study groups, mastermind groups, exercise groups, book groups, attending classes, or helping with local projects which benefit the community.  If your are beginning a new project, like mastering a new skill, or starting your own business,

the success rate shoots up fast when you have a
good mentor or partner

— someone to hash out ideas with, and someone to whom you feel accountable.  The willingness to be connected benefits both parties.

You can see different levels of understanding this concept all around you.  For example, some neighborhoods have block parties every year, while others have residents who don’t even know who their neighbors are.  Some people start a new enterprise and fall prey to the discouragement of flying solo in the learning storm, while others are soon flying solo with great success, exactly because they found connections and other resources which helped them to do so.

Look at your own relationships in different contexts.

Friends, family, acquaintances old and new.  Who has a positive outlook?  Who is doing pretty well with the attitude thing?  Which ones like themselves and enjoy other people?  Who could laugh and cry with you?  Who can forgive and heal from hurt?  Who is able to do what they say they will do?  Who can manage to live within their means?  Who can try new things?  Who has hope?  Who makes you feel good about yourself?

These are the ones to run to!

These are the connections which will help you practice good skills, hopeful world views and healthy habits, and keep you from spending too much time in fear and worry.  Tend these connections and add someone like-minded if you lose one.  Be that person for someone else.  Reclaim hope.

Stay resilient by making good connections.

Natural and ancient remedies for today’s dilemmas abound!
You need only look all around you to see what I mean.
— Soangetaha

We hear such news from scientists, naturalists, health writers.  We read it in blogs by self-taught horticulturists and in books and journals by tenured professors and physicians.  It seems everyone has something to say about new discoveries of old wisdom.  Hey, wading through all those opinions and data can be frustrating!  No wonder we get tired from the seemingly endless task of searching for good answers. 

Who has the pearls?

Well, what do you say?  Perhaps your thoughts about such things are as wise as any data gem to be found.  Maybe they’re the wisest thoughts on the planet!  Not feeling so wise?  Think comparing yourself to those folks who have studied for years might be a little presumptuous?  Preposterous?  An explanation is in order.

There is no one on earth who knows you as well as you do.  That’s the good news. The bad news is that every one in the marketplace seems to want to talk you out of the good news.  Instead of giving you ways to access your own sense of judgment, they want to tell you how you feel, what to think, who to vote for, and Oh Lordie, what to buy.  And half the time, we hardly catch them at it!  If it is really going to make us feel better about ourselves, look better, or more easily please or impress others, we want it!  While there are many wonderful things which help us live better lives,

the best tools
are those which encourage us to maximize our own strengths.

After all, we are the ones out there trying to navigate the maze.  Help!  The best resources facilitate success by taking advantage of our own natural talents, desires, interests, and strengths, and by using all that great energy to move us forward. 

Choosing the best resources is personal.
Finding ones that fit our individual learning style can be priceless.

Oh yeah, that Fountain of Youth.  Thought I forgot?  How could anyone forget?  We are all supposed to be looking for that?!  Go, Sr. Ponce de León!

Ever notice how old you feel on days when you feel bad?  Now think of how young you feel on days when you feel good.  Pretty different.  In fact, we can feel as much as 10 or 20 years younger (or older), in less than 24 hours!  Amazing.  Certainly is powerful stuff. 

How much energy we feel effects what we can accomplish, how we handle stress, how we treat others, and all the little decisions we make about how we take care of ourselves.  Is anything more relevant to a sense of youthfulness than how we take care of ourselves?

See if you can imagine the fountain of youth as your fountain of youth. A sense of youthfulness would include feeling optimistic and hopeful.  It would include a sense of wonder and curiosity in learning new things.  Think of all the new information absorbed daily by youthful brains.

Learning new material and developing new skills
is a very good way to keep your brain young and happy.

Reflect on your interests, and then gather the tools and resources to help you further those interests and flourish.  Moving toward your ideals and goals is a youthful endeavor.  Learn something new, especially something that helps you realize a dream.

If you remember how to practice those things, you will be practicing your own Fountain of Youth.  No kidding.  An ancient and natural remedy for today’s dilemma right in your own modern psyche! It is up to you to discover what’s in Your Fountain.  Gather the things that will help you.

Choosing the best resources is personal.
Finding ones that fit our individual learning style can be priceless.

Go find real pearls.

Cultivate your inner strengths and choose some of the great tools and resources available to maximize your natural gifts, develop new skills, and get some of your dreams realized.  Wow.  Do it.  Soon you, too, will be saying, “21^st Century Fountain of Youth Discovered!”

Humor expands our comfort zone and helps
us adapt to change. — Izzy Gesell

At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a
kaleidoscope of new possibilities. — Jean Houston

If you jumped to this article straight away, interesting aspects of your psyche can probably be revealed on some personality test.  Well, we’re not doing that here.  It doesn’t matter if you searched methodically or if you turned here on a lark to see what the secret sauce was, the desire to experience wild success is surely a powerful motivator.

Maybe you are in debt (you can insert words like ‘eyeballs’ and ‘over-my-head’ here).  Or maybe your friends are hoping you will get serious about succeeding and move on with that project.  Everyone wants to know what will help us get a grip, pull ahead, beat the beginner odds, find our way, bounce back, be healthy, realize a dream. It is serious.  Times are serious.

And the Secret Sauce of Laughter is serious.  No, really, it’s serious business.  The more bottom-line you are, the more you need to keep reading right now.  The results of knowing this information could affect your bottom line positively — financially, health wise, in your professional and personal relationships, in the effectiveness of your communication, in your powers of persuasion, in your quest for education,  in your ability to clean out that closet,   . . . (list doesn’t end here) . . .

And what if you prefer to think of the Holy Grail of human experience as something other than the bottom line? What if resilience-builders such as motivation, positive outlook, and feeling good are your markers of excellence?  Fabulous.  Hearty laughter makes the brain release endorphins, that natural happy-chemical that is responsible for the “runner’s high.”  In fact, the chemicals released in the central nervous system as a result of laughing help eliminate depression and create a more positive mental state.

The effects of a positive mental state are huge.

. . . (make another list for yourself here) . . .

The experience of humor is universal.  Yet try convincing that to someone who is out of practice.  If it’s been too long since laughter has been a common part of your mornings, noons, and nights, consider some of the impressive beneficial changes it produces.  In addition to the effects on our mind and spirits, it helps us physically.  Scientific studies have shown that hearty laughter:

1. produces a general sense of well-being (triggers endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers)
2. powerfully and immediately strengthens our immune system (boosts levels of infection-fighting T-cells, Gamma-interferon, Natural Killer Cells (NK cells), and B-cells which produce disease destroying antibodies)
3. naturally relieves stress (reduces release of stress hormones)
4. is good for your heart
5. increases circulation and improves delivery of oxygen and nutrients to tissues throughout the entire body
6. has been found to lower blood pressure
7. increases muscle flexing
8. massages the lymph system
9. aids breathing by disrupting normal respiration patterns and increasing respiration rate
10. has no known side reactions (as do mood drugs)
11. can be done as a physical exercise
12. . . . (once again, list doesn’t end here) . . .

Let’s catch that item about laughter as a physical exercise. This might be especially encouraging for those who don’t feel like laughing.  To be able to get the strengthening effects of laughter without involving our minds, to get the biochemical and physiological changes and benefits which laughter brings, without focusing on anything humorous — well, is that possible?

Evidently, it is.  There are both scientific studies and reported stories of many people doing just that.  Some call it laugh therapy, or laughter therapy, and some have combined laughter with yoga and claim a special niche, practiced in many places around the globe for over a decade.  Laughter Yoga developer, Dr. Kataria, teaches students to train their diaphragm and abdominal muscles to breathe deeply by combining laugh exercises and yoga breathing techniques.  There go those increased levels of oxygen again!

Participants have reported that laughter yoga helped them counter or eliminate depression, create a more positive outlook, and improve overall quality of life, partly because of the laughter exercises, and partly due to the strength of their emotional responses when working within a group of peers.  The power of practicing with a group of cohorts appears to heighten the positive effects.

Those group dynamics must work in all kinds of settings, not just in Laughter Yoga groups, because Laughter Clubs have started popping up in many cities and towns.  One website reported that in India and other countries, laughing clubs are as popular as Rotary Clubs are in the U.S.  There, as well as in the United States, people gather (often in early morning) for the sole purpose of laughing.  One Midwestern U.S. community has a Laughing Class every Friday at 6:00 P.M.  What a great alternative to the many less healthy ways of kicking the work week into the past.  And it’s free.

When difficult circumstances or depression make it hard to respond to things that are intended to be humorous, laugh yoga or a laugh club may be a natural way to build resilience. Laughing is contagious.  Group practice has the potential of breaking down the barriers of resistance and fostering a sense of shared purpose:  to experience benefits and improvements.

Maybe Norman Cousins‘ famous quote belongs here.  He described the wild beneficial effects of hearty laughter on our bodies by saying, “Laughter is inner jogging.” Of course.  And if you have ever seen the energy of small children running around until the adults are exhausted, you have probably also noticed many, many laughs, giggles, and joyful snorts.  Children laugh an average of about 400 times a day. Seems unbelievable.  Yet even more unbelievable is the fact that the average number of laughs per day observed in adults is only 15.  Surely we can get that number a little higher.

Whether you find a group willing to practice “inner jogging” with you, or whether you practice laughing by yourself, or with your pets, find out for yourself what it feels like to let the exercise bring you into new states of confidence and well being.  Experience the big reduction in stress which occurs after only ten minutes of laughing.  Like the other resilience-building skills, it takes a decision to begin, and practice to develop the new habit. Go for it! The Secret Sauce for Wild Success is waiting for your immediate consumption.  Enjoy to taste.

Watch a 5-min Video on Laughter Yoga (Discovery Channel):