P.S. Don’t try this at home!!!

P.P.S.  DO try something YOU want to try.

Now, what was it, you say,
that gets in your way?

Find out what your real, actual constraints are and develop a new plan to address those constraints.  Get help. Learn new strategies from successful people.

Generosity — Training in Big Success

Listen to the League of Extraordinary Minds

Attitude, Gratitude, Resilience and Joy

Nothing but illusions,
well, change those delusions!

Good luck re-thinking your obstacles — now — On To Your 2010 Successes.

( Happy Long Night Moon )

An affair in bleak winter:
snow shimmers by night,
radiant blue moon beams on.

Still, a good night to live in a house.
Learn something new this year.
Do something you want to do.

“Man is a goal seeking animal. His life only has meaning
if he is reaching out and striving for his goals.”
— Aristotle

Are you one of the millions of hopefuls making a little list right now?  Want to know more about how to get where you want to go?

Some New Year’s resolutions are good intentions, some are pipe dreams, and some are actually achievable goals or real plans for new habits.

Yet almost all of them are sincere (except for those made to placate someone else’s desire for us to change). And almost all of them are forgotten in a few weeks or months.

What are the secrets of making and keeping good plans for new beginnings?

Well, one secret is in the mysteries of Reaching Out.

There are many ways to reach out to a new intention.  Here are some of the most common methods:

• Reaching Out with our minds.
  The beginning of all change starts with an idea.
  Think of what you want and reach out for it with your mind.

Reaching Out with our hearts.
The beginning of motivation is in the heart.
Connect your desire with your ideas, and reach out with your heart.

• Reaching Out with our hands.
  The visible beginning comes from daily action.
  Reach out with your actions and connect motivation with practice.

Reaching out with your heart and mind is powerful, and takes courage.  You risk wanting something without knowing the outcome.  This ‘inner game’ part of reaching out is scary for many people.  If we admit to ourselves how much we want something to change, it brings the tension of unknowing and responsibility.

And if we take no action, that can cause inner conflict and all kinds of negative emotions, like guilt and shame, even feelings of low self-worth and failure.

Enter: Daily Action. (Daily Action wears a Mighty Mouse cape, and is singing, “Here I come to save the day…”).

If you want to keep your resolves, this is the secret within the secret:

Repeat steps one and two, reaching out with mind and heart, again and again, to shore up Daily Action.

This means as you start to practice the new habit, revisit your ideas and motivation daily. Think of more new ideas, about how to keep the motivation high, and about exactly what will help you want to succeed. Then act upon your ideas.  Observe your progress without judging.

That’s it. That is the secret of keeping the new habits long enough to get them established.  Success comes best when reaching out in all three ways:  with ideas, desire, and action.  Follow-through (Daily Action) has a much better chance when our thoughts, feelings, and behavior are on the same page, as they say.

In your head or written, New Year’s resolutions do mean something.  They mean you want something you don’t yet have.  Written ones have a higher success rate.

Recap — Reach out to your goals with your ideas, check to see if you can find some heart-power (motivation) to back up those ideas, and do your Daily Action.

Then when the Daily Action gets a little slippery, reach out for more ideas and find more motivators to help keep you on track.

Recap’s Recap — Repeat the cycle of Reaching Out as many times as you want, or as many times as you breathe, or…

You get the idea, now find your desire and act!

No surprises here, but taking time to practice simple relaxation techniques can help you sail through the holidays, having your friends wonder how you get so much done, and still remain so cool.

You can find a gazillion great stress management resources out there.  Here are a few to get you started.  Find ones you like and use them regularly.

Consistency seems to be the kicker here.  Getting the hang of using relaxation exercises means getting into the HABIT of using them.

Impress yourself, your friends, family, and colleagues: Become amazing and mysteriously capable of staying calm amidst the chaos.

You can improve your bottom line, your relationships, your grades, and certainly your quality of life.  Start checking these out, and then springboard into your own discoveries.

Enjoy the peace.

Breathe! — increases everything good.

Send your friends here and start a trend.

Smile, it increases your face value.

Breathing Relaxation Exercise In less than 5 minutes, you can be breathing slower and more deeply, energizing all your systems.

(Note:  DO NOT listen to any relaxation exercises while driving,
operating machinery, or performing activities
which require you to be alert to task!)

Here’s a longer one, with nature sounds and cool music.
Amazon Rainforest Relaxation Video (26-min)

The river (4 min) This one has Native American voice, filmed in Slovenia.

Relaxation – Tranquility – Reiki – Mind Body & Soul 4 (5-min) Classic relaxation music style.  Great Reiki affirmation at the end.

Stress Beats Holiday Stress (5-min) David Riklan gives seven tips from Relaxation and Stress Relief in Five Minutes of Less.

Buy them, get them at the library, watch on YouTube, make your own.  Use ‘em!  These videos may encourage you to explore more stress management habits, such as better sleep patterns, or yoga, or mini-mental-vacations.  We will post more relaxation tips for you in the future.

Which of these (or one you discovered) is your favorite?
Happy Peace-Breathing Holidays!

The online series recommended by November 2nd’s guest editorial had more to do with the art and science of communication than most singers ever dream might be necessary. Truth is, communication is exactly why we raise our voices in melody and words.

Last Thursday’s teleconference panel opened for me greater understanding of choosing music for a concert or recital; of setting the stage (so to speak) in a way that predisposes your listeners to receive what you’re offering; of reaching your audience in ways that subtly increase their connection to you, so they want to follow your career and attend your future events.

We urge you not to let the marketing flavor of the guest editorial sway you from registering — free and without obligation — for the next online teleseminar. You’ll come away with a wealth of ideas to apply to singing well and interfacing more successfully with your listeners. There’s no doubt in my mind that some of your favorite stars, in every realm of the performing arts, have been coached by geniuses such as these – get your free coaching today!

…not to be missed. This very moment, you may be in the right place at the right time to grab your access!  We are all about multidisciplinary cooperation, and this offering tops anything we have seen.  If you are trying to get a project together, or haven’t yet even been able to define your goals, — we have SO much good news.

The League of Extraordinary Minds…

is a 54-member assembly of world-class business and marketing consultants who have come together to help entrepreneurs and small business owners grow, thrive, and survive during this economic downturn.

The brainchild of marketing mavens Jay Abraham and Rich Schefren, the League of Extraordinary Minds takes the think tank concept to a whole different level.

Rich and Jay have brought in only the best of the best from a variety of different business and marketing worlds and assorted them into different “panels”.

Participants include highly-acclaimed consultants such as Tony Robbins, Jay Conrad Levinson, Brian Tracy, Stephen Covey, Michael Gerber, Robert Cialdini, and dozens of others.

For 6 weeks, these panels of the industry’s brightest, most successful, highest paid business experts will share their mammoth genius and unparalleled wisdom with you — firsthand.

That’s right. There’s no book to read. No CDs to buy. No videos to watch.

Simply show up and listen as these experts reveal their most successful techniques (the same ones they use to turn the fortunes of billion-dollar companies completely around), and share how those techniques can apply to Your business.

And the best part about it? It’s all FREE.

That’s no misprint. Jay and Rich have organized this huge project so you don’t have to pay a penny for it.  Remarkable, considering many of these high-powered consultants command $250,000 PER DAY from their Fortune 100 clients.)

It’s simply the mother of all think tanks. And you can have a full 6 weeks of insider access for absolutely no obligation whatsoever.

So go here NOW and get your FREE access to these sessions. But do it quickly — the first call with Tony Robbins kicks off this Thursday the 29th.

DON’T MISS THIS! Simply show up and Listen.

There are many voices of resilience which last well beyond an individual lifespan.

Mary Travers has one of those voices.

From Kentucky, to New York, to places all over the world, Mary sang from her heart and listeners’ hearts were captured.

Authenticity was a major facet of Mary’s long and resilient career.  She and her pals Peter Yarrow and Paul Stookey turned authenticity into a calling card.  A tough fight at times, with the new trends of popularization and commercialization of folk music ‘Moving’ on the scene.

Peter Paul and Mary were able to become wildly popular while retaining their commitment to a focused calling — articulating the dignity and value of all persons and all peoples.  And suggesting, of all things, that we treat each other as brothers and sisters.

Their close harmonies have always had more than musical significance.  They are symbols of how working together can bring new beauty into being.

Take heart and find a way to voice your authentic self, in the context of something larger than you.  It will give your Resilience Rating a boost!  (See our post on Making Connections and Resilience for more about context support).

There is so much listening to do.  Some of it involves Mary Travers, both wearing her ‘Peter Paul & Mary’ hat, and in her solo work.  Some of the listening has to do with finding our OWN voice.

Listen to the signals that hint at your own authenticity and resilience.  Then find the courage to voice them.  Perhaps revisiting Mary’s voice will encourage you.

Enjoy a sample of Mary’s voice, from 1966:

(and from our almost-shameless commerce division) If you’re interested, you can
Click here to Browse the Peter Paul & Mary Store at Amazon.

Share your Favorites, or anything about finding your voice, in the Comments below.

It gets in the way of thinking about what I really like.
It prevents me from spending an afternoon in the hammock.
It’s not what I really want to study.
I’m sick of trying to get some.
It is not important to me.

…and Why We Don’t

It gives me the means to get some of the things I really like.
It helped me purchase a great hammock.
It paid for a whole bunch of my education.
My work life has provided me with

1. many fulfilling experiences,
2. many opportunities for service,
3. many connections and relationships.

Money is related (in fewer than six degrees of separation) to everything important to me, even if money has no intrinsic moral character or value of its own.

There is only one class in the community that thinks more about money than the rich, and that is the poor.  The poor can think of nothing else.
~ Oscar Wilde

If you are tired of thinking of nothing else, learn how to build some extra income streams into your life.  Develop a way to deliver something Very Valuable to others, and scale it into something that changes your life.

If you choose a great coach, you could be on your way very quickly.  Not rich overnight, and not without putting in the elbow grease, but quickly to a place where hope and momentum can replace fear and stagnation.

If you are seeking such an opportunity, you can Go check out Jeff Johnson’s Coaching Program, for example.  Believe in your goal to be someone who can think about something else besides money!

Funny thing is, I need some money in order to do that!

Heal your money-thoughts, whatever you do.  Break out of the negative scripts most of us have running constantly in our heads.  Our hope is that you will find a way to do so, and become more resilient and happy for the doing.

If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else,
you will have succeeded.
— Maya Angelou

Of all the things to try, this is perhaps the most interesting.  And in the long run, maybe the most powerful.  Making connections is so basic, yet for all its common sense, we let it fly right out the window and are left feeling alone, trapped, and isolated.  What a curious trick we play on ourselves.  And the smarter we are, the harder we fall for this one.  After all, we should be able to pull our own selves out of the pit, right?  Partial baloney.

Connections support us in shoring up resilience.

They can actually make our rugged individualism work better.  Seems counter-intuitive.  But our ability to help ourselves is strangely related to our willingness to accept help from others.  The best results come from figuring out  the when, who, and how of good connections, and in finding a good balance of power.

There are offers for ‘relationship’ all over the place.

So many, in fact, that even billboards ‘talk’ to us.  We cannot escape the calls for involvement in someone else’s agenda.  Give to my worthy cause, help me make my quota, win the contest, fight the bad guys, cure warts, save the wild things.  Just when the year-end bills roll in, the mailbox is full of notes from people begging to have a relationship with us.

Those are not the types of connections we’re talking about!

There is a difference between impersonal communication and the relationships which include real dialog and offer personal support.  A billboard will never listen to you.  Neither will a solicitation, not even one for a good cause.  Not even one from your very favorite cause.

However, helping others is known to be a part of happiness.  So how do we decide which connections can help us be strong-hearted?  One of the best resilience builders comes from the go-power of personal connections and mutual support.

It’s the support from people who care about us,
and are willing to listen to us,

that strengthens our resilience and chases away the blues.  And offering that to others is the second half.

Giving and helping are great ways to experience the benefits of supportive connection.  Being a gracious receiver is equally powerful.  Both are halves of the same whole.  It’s having good relationships with close friends, family members, acquaintances, peers, teachers, and others, that is important.  If one of your sources is unavailable or unwilling, there must be others in your system to whom you can turn.

When we lose someone in our supportive connections loop,
we have to find a way to connect again — with a new link.

Think of at least three persons you can count on, and if you need to build up your social support system, begin right now.  Build a second tier, and envision a third.  Not to worry, just start adding one connection at a time.

Some people develop those connections by being active in social or civic groups, faith-based organizations, shared-interest groups, study groups, mastermind groups, exercise groups, book groups, attending classes, or helping with local projects which benefit the community.  If your are beginning a new project, like mastering a new skill, or starting your own business,

the success rate shoots up fast when you have a
good mentor or partner

— someone to hash out ideas with, and someone to whom you feel accountable.  The willingness to be connected benefits both parties.

You can see different levels of understanding this concept all around you.  For example, some neighborhoods have block parties every year, while others have residents who don’t even know who their neighbors are.  Some people start a new enterprise and fall prey to the discouragement of flying solo in the learning storm, while others are soon flying solo with great success, exactly because they found connections and other resources which helped them to do so.

Look at your own relationships in different contexts.

Friends, family, acquaintances old and new.  Who has a positive outlook?  Who is doing pretty well with the attitude thing?  Which ones like themselves and enjoy other people?  Who could laugh and cry with you?  Who can forgive and heal from hurt?  Who is able to do what they say they will do?  Who can manage to live within their means?  Who can try new things?  Who has hope?  Who makes you feel good about yourself?

These are the ones to run to!

These are the connections which will help you practice good skills, hopeful world views and healthy habits, and keep you from spending too much time in fear and worry.  Tend these connections and add someone like-minded if you lose one.  Be that person for someone else.  Reclaim hope.

Stay resilient by making good connections.

“Changes induced by skill learning are MASSIVE.”
— Michael Merzenich

Neuroscientist Michael Merzenich is one of several researchers looking into the brain’s ability to actively re-wire itself.  We are just beginning to glimpse this incredible power, and relate it to lifestyle, our choices of behavior, and just about all the activities in our daily doings.

Evidently our brains are selective.  They have strategies for defining the meaning of whatever input they receive.  Under our attentional and behavioral control, they determine the significance of events.  Our brain structures actually change in some pretty interesting ways when we learn new skills.

What we put our attention on MATTERS!

Want to be happier, increase your abilities, capabilities, and general sense of wellbeing?  YOU are in charge of creating your own adult brain!  What you focus on and how you nurture yourself makes all the difference in the world in maintaining

Your Own High-Functioning Learning Machine.

Go check out some of the links, courses, and reports found over on the sidebar.  And heck, go to the library!  Read Daniel Amen’s books.  Find out about brain aerobics and how you can exercise your capacity to move toward goals and dreams.

You-Know-Who Is Responsible for Your Brain from Now On  :)

You can hear Dr. Merzenich live at the TED Conference, giving a packed 20 minutes on the subject.  It’s a rather academic (how’s that for dry?) lecture but if you can sit in class a few minutes, here it is.  Be sure to watch toward the end, when he talks about rescuing our own brains from the slip and slide of decline.

Our Brains are “Constructed for Change.”
Go learn something that interests you!

Here’s Michael Merzenich for free:

Daniel Amen’s books are full of practical, very doable steps toward the changes Michael Merzenich is talking about.  You can get your own and avoid those pesky overdue notices from the library.  Change Your Brain Change Your Life, and Magnifiicent Mind at any Age, are both keepers.  Remember, what you put your attention on Matters!